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DECEMBER 2, 2005 at 2:22 PM
Posted by CHEESER
Source: Forbes via The Leaky Cauldron
Forbes has published a hilarious article
detailing the wealth of various fictional characters and Lucius Malfoy came in at #15.
Through brisk trading of Dark Arts artifacts on eBay to his stock holdings in Wal-Mart and Halliburton, Malfoy saw his fortune increase 30%, even while behind bars at Azkaban:
Much of Malfoy's gain can be attributed to surging commodities markets. The price of gold is at its highest level since 1987, up 16% since January alone. Malfoy's stores of gold galleons and silver sickles--among the purest mintings of those metals known--have appreciated significantly.
Despite these material gains, it’s clear Lucius' imprisonment has been personally painful. His wife, Narcissa, has reportedly begun making midnight visits to a "family friend," a tall, thin and greasy-haired professor at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And Draco, Lucius' only son, disappeared this year following the murder of Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore.
Thanks to TLC and those who sent this in.
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Auror
Points: 2353
Loretta says:
This is the best article ever. I don't know when I have laughted this hard. This is so Lucious.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 11:24 PM EST
Head Girl
Points: 485
I love Mormon Boys says:
Thats funny!!!! Thanks for the laughs.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 11:26 PM EST
Hufflepuff Princess
Points: 24832
Waddi Wasi says:
Oh my gosh! That is so funny.. another reason to love Forbes!
"I am constantly on the alert for opportunities to exploit you filthy Muggles." *dead*
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 11:31 PM EST
Hogwarts Psychologist
Points: 4236
Patronus Wiz says:
That's kind of funny... Lucius actually invests in muggle business.. What's up with that? He's a muggle despiser. but I guess, like he says, he wants to exploit us. Urgh
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 11:41 PM EST
Points: 200
veggichic0804 says:
What a witty article. I thought it was quite entertaining, it would be fun to see more articles on different characters of the book too, like Arthur Weasley.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 11:55 PM EST
Head Girl
Points: 423
Mrs.HarryJamesPotter says:
That was really cute. Thank's for posting it.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 12:18 AM EST
Wizard
Points: 906
*The*Physical*Being* says:
I love this article!!!!!!!!!
(Even though Lucious should be further up the ranks)
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 12:20 AM EST
Keeper of Keys/Kneazles
(Moderator)
Points: 4433
Sir_J_Wallis_E says:
What Harry didn't make the list? you would think that with both the Porrer's and the Black Family's holdings that he should have made the list. Oh well maybe next year if Harry inherits Dumbledore's holdings.
Lucius Malfoy, an evil wizard, haveing stock holdings in Wal-Mart and Halliburton. Forbes wouldn't be trying to infer something about those 2 companies, couls they?
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 12:43 AM EST
Dark Mark Caster
Points: 7648
FireboltFlyr says:
That's totally awesome! That's really cool that they did something like that... I bet the Malfoy's have a big part in the 7th book. It's going to be exciting to find out what JKR has in store for them!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 12:56 AM EST
Squib
Points: 158
KristinSaysAccio says:
That is soo cool and really funny. Magazines should do more stuff like that.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 12:56 AM EST
Original of the Species
Points: 4364
Spell Weaver says:
What a fantastic piece of writing. I enjoyed reading all of the details! This is worth printing and sharing with my Harry Potter friends who claim they don't have time to surf the net. J.K. Rowling has no doubt inspired readers of her books even more that she could possibly have imagined.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 1:25 AM EST
Substitute Chosen One
Points: 3021
Mr Fishbein says:
Hey I wonder if this person had permission from JKR to do this. It kind of shows how much detail the Harry Potter world goes into doesnt it. About how gols is at its heighest level since 1987. Have to admit it was quite a funny article.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 2:17 AM EST
Auror
Points: 2474
Leina D. says:
Hmmm...tall, greasy hair aye? Rings a loud bell! That's a very interesting article indeed. I wonder if there are many more of these fictional writings. It would be a great read and a great idea to start another link in the harry potter franchise.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 2:31 AM EST
The Warrior Sorceress
Points: 3333
Devilish Katlyn says:
That was way funny!
I can see him dealing with some company that makes firearms or something like that. Then sell them on the black market! Yeah, that's Lucius!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 3:42 AM EST
Auror
Points: 2575
Miss Amortentia says:
That was really funny!!I wonder how people can think of such things!
The comments by Moody and Tonks are hilarious!!Especially Moody's!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 4:39 AM EST
Auror
Points: 2575
Miss Amortentia says:
Sorry to double post but here's the rest of the list for you people!!It's awesome!
1)Santa Claus
2)Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks
2)Richie Rich
4)Lex Luthor
5)C. Montgomery Burns
6)Scrooge McDuck
7)Jed Clampett
8)Bruce Wayne
9)Thurston Howell III
10)Willy Wonka
11)Arthur Bach
12)Ebenezer Scrooge
13)Lara Croft
14)Cruella De Vil
15)Lucius Malfoy
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 4:43 AM EST
Muggle Executioner
Points: 5173
ThunderofHisSky says:
The second time this week that something hilarious has been in the news this week.It's so funny.It made my day today....
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 5:32 AM EST
Order of Merlin, 4th Class
Points: 1327
Draco_sgirl says:
Yay the Malfoy family! that article was hilarious it actually made me laugh. Mad eyes comment was so typical.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 5:44 AM EST
Head Girl
Points: 447
giavanna says:
Very funny.How come I never come up with things like that? Wouldnt it be great if an article like this was actually in book7?In the Daily Prophet or the Quibler?
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 5:50 AM EST
Order of Merlin, 1st Class
Points: 1826
snapelupinfan says:
That was a really good article, I tried to read the others as well, but at the moment the page isn't loading, so I try later.
It is quite interesting how many "bad guys" you can see among the TOP 15...what about real life then? Don' t want to think about it...
I hope the autor keeps writing stories like that. I'd enjoy reading them!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 5:51 AM EST
Muggle Representative
Points: 9117
The Lime says:
Haha, that was really hilarious! But there is some spoilers about HBP in the article as well, I hope that everyone who reads this, has read the book.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 6:39 AM EST
Student
Points: 290
GoF fan says:
The article was damn funny , i wonder how creative people can get with harry potter. so there is some snape - narcissa relationship, then?
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 7:13 AM EST
canon
Points: 2575
gaea says:
What a creative article, I especially liked that they chose "evil" companies for him to own stock in.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 7:20 AM EST
Professor
Points: 1059
.:harrylover:. says:
Hah! thats so cool! I'm gonna read the rest of the list to;)
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 8:20 AM EST
Auror
Points: 2419
Gwenyth says:
Thats hilarious! But who is #1 if the slimeist git is number 15?
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 8:54 AM EST
Witch
Points: 808
Hogwarts babe says:
Wow, that was really interesting and funny to read. Thanks Hpana! But who was number 1 though? Hmm
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 9:19 AM EST
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