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DECEMBER 2, 2005 at 2:22 PM
Posted by CHEESER
Source: Forbes via The Leaky Cauldron
Forbes has published a hilarious article
detailing the wealth of various fictional characters and Lucius Malfoy came in at #15.
Through brisk trading of Dark Arts artifacts on eBay to his stock holdings in Wal-Mart and Halliburton, Malfoy saw his fortune increase 30%, even while behind bars at Azkaban:
Much of Malfoy's gain can be attributed to surging commodities markets. The price of gold is at its highest level since 1987, up 16% since January alone. Malfoy's stores of gold galleons and silver sickles--among the purest mintings of those metals known--have appreciated significantly.
Despite these material gains, it’s clear Lucius' imprisonment has been personally painful. His wife, Narcissa, has reportedly begun making midnight visits to a "family friend," a tall, thin and greasy-haired professor at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And Draco, Lucius' only son, disappeared this year following the murder of Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore.
Thanks to TLC and those who sent this in.
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Witch
Points: 808
Hogwarts babe says:
Wow, that was really interesting and funny to read. Thanks Hpana! But who was number 1 though? Hmm
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 9:19 AM EST
Auror
Points: 2860
mad_eye muggle says:
Wow!I didn't know that the malfoys are stockholders in wal-mart.Hahahaha.....,that's really funny.And to even think that the malfoys minggle with muggles,by being a stockholder in wal-mart.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 9:31 AM EST
Professor
Points: 1188
sirius'doll says:
Ooh, that was positively a joy to read...am saddened some what that Lucius Malfoy was at the bottom of the list...but GO SANTA!! Ha ha! THough, the only fault there is that...well Santa is REAL!! ;>
Kudo's to the writers of the articles too!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 9:35 AM EST
Order of Merlin, 3rd Class
Points: 1426
~Hermione says:
Poor Malfoy, well, at least, he's doing money while he's in prison. I think that in book seven he will escape from Azkaban now Dumbuledore dead.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 9:54 AM EST
Auror
Points: 2469
Fat Lady Sings says:
The Wal Mart bit is hysterical. Instead of those yellow smiley faces, WM should use the dark mark to advertise its everyday low prices.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 10:18 AM EST
Squib
Points: 178
<3°*»lilAngel*4*Dan»*°<3 says:
HAHAAha!!! COOOL post!!!!!!!!!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 10:18 AM EST
Head Girl
Points: 487
crazy_purple_hp_freak says:
*laughs* But (call me mad or what...) I still think Snape is good and the Malfoys (though maybe not Lucius) can be redeemed.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 10:22 AM EST
Head Boy
Points: 420
Raccoon_Patronus says:
Wow I still can't get over that a magazine that my dad reads has something that is funny.
KEVIN
Ravenclaw Wizards' Club
Future Hogwarts Charms Teacher
Ravenclaw Chaser
Head Boy
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 10:27 AM EST
Boredom's G-Unit
Points: 6616
Hermy's Homeboy says:
HEHEHE that is pretty funny. IT made me laugh pretty hard. How do some people come up with this stuff? HEhe I love the Malfoys.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 10:36 AM EST
The Quibbler Poet
Points: 7054
.:Wicked T:. says:
Hahahahaha that is so cool and quite funny..............Go Lucius....................*.............*................
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 10:53 AM EST
Witch
Points: 530
ButterflyKisses says:
I love the article it is sooo good! I think you are a natural!!!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 11:10 AM EST
Wizard
Points: 666
Saquerus Lezzier says:
Thats funny....but still true. Famous people are making money even when their in jail.
If I ever go to jail, I want to earn money too.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 11:14 AM EST
Witch
Points: 968
Jesyka Gronewg says:
The article was quite humorous. I do hope that whomever reads it has already read the book. After having seen the secret being ruined for several of my friends, I'm quite sensitive to the fact that we need to make sure that it's protected (like it was for me).
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 11:26 AM EST
Witch
Points: 675
Heiress_ to_Slytherin says:
Aww poor Malfoy! Now don't you just feel sorry for Narcissa! Loved the article!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 11:58 AM EST
Muggle
Points: 85
LadyMarauder says:
Poor Malfoy got beat by Willy Wonka and Santa Claus. :) Great article.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 12:22 PM EST
Order of Merlin, 2nd Class
Points: 1720
hpforever138 says:
Ha very funny, I liked that alot!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 12:29 PM EST
Prefect
Points: 322
MagicGirl* says:
: ) That made [i]me[i] smile!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 12:46 PM EST
Muggle
Points: 31
Minister of Mystery says:
*laughing*
Unbelievable, who come up with these storys.This one was really funny.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 12:50 PM EST
Muggle
Points: 91
draco~malfoy~rox~ma~sox says:
That's soo funny! Lucius selling stuff on ebay, loving the comments from moody and tonks
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 12:56 PM EST
Head Girl
Points: 433
Witherwing's_Rider says:
[b] Ha Ha! That was very good! It almost seems possible...A filthy rat like that - it would be expected!!!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 1:07 PM EST
Head Girl
Points: 408
randomnessthoughts says:
The page won't upload for me! Wah! :(
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 1:15 PM EST
Auror
Points: 2465
undisputed760 says:
Thats pretty funny, but seeing as how the Malfoys hate muggles, why would Lucius invest in muggle companies? haha
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 1:19 PM EST
The Dark Lady
Points: 5085
Mrs Riddle/Lady Voldemort says:
hehehe these types of articles always amuse me. Keep 'em coming, HPANA!!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 1:55 PM EST
Wizard
Points: 503
Zauber says:
That was quite a funny story , it's amazing how they come up with this kind of stuff.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 2:13 PM EST
Witch
Points: 925
loony_futuregirl2 says:
Really funny...I needed a laugh! Thanks for letting us know! It was good...
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 2:15 PM EST
Lady of Godric's Hollow
Points: 5292
GodricsGirl says:
That is wonderfully hilarious!
Lucius made FORBES!
Who'da thunk it?
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 2:18 PM EST
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