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DECEMBER 2, 2005 at 2:22 PM
Posted by CHEESER
Source: Forbes via The Leaky Cauldron
Forbes has published a hilarious article
detailing the wealth of various fictional characters and Lucius Malfoy came in at #15.
Through brisk trading of Dark Arts artifacts on eBay to his stock holdings in Wal-Mart and Halliburton, Malfoy saw his fortune increase 30%, even while behind bars at Azkaban:
Much of Malfoy's gain can be attributed to surging commodities markets. The price of gold is at its highest level since 1987, up 16% since January alone. Malfoy's stores of gold galleons and silver sickles--among the purest mintings of those metals known--have appreciated significantly.
Despite these material gains, it’s clear Lucius' imprisonment has been personally painful. His wife, Narcissa, has reportedly begun making midnight visits to a "family friend," a tall, thin and greasy-haired professor at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And Draco, Lucius' only son, disappeared this year following the murder of Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore.
Thanks to TLC and those who sent this in.
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Lady of Godric's Hollow
Points: 5292
GodricsGirl says:
That is wonderfully hilarious!
Lucius made FORBES!
Who'da thunk it?
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 2:18 PM EST
Muggle
Points: 3
malfoylover123 says:
Ha ha ha!! This was VERY funny, it made me laugh!!! Thanks for posting it!!!:)
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 2:36 PM EST
Auror
Points: 2079
kermittounette says:
That's really cool! Hey, that's something, Harry Potteris so big now that analysis can be done so easly and on the subject of money. I really hope he's gonna die in the last book!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 3:11 PM EST
Prefect
Points: 368
Prince of Slytherin says:
In the words of headmaster dumbledore.(well not exactly,kind of edit it by myself) FUNNY UNTIL PROVEN STUPIDNESS AND FAKENESS.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 3:42 PM EST
Gryffindor's Dark Lord
Points: 4430
Quidditch2008 says:
*Rolls on floor laughing*
*Gets up, slumping over the table still breathless with laughter, tears of laughter streaming down my face*
That's got to be the funniest article in Forbes I've ever read.
*Resumes laughing*
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 4:15 PM EST
Order of Merlin, 1st Class
Points: 1937
Deepti says:
His wife, Narcissa, has reportedly begun making midnight visits to a "family friend," a tall, thin and greasy-haired professor at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Haha ha ha That has so many different implications...
But only at #15?? What would Lucy have to say about that?? Bested by that Muggle-loving fool Santa Claus... *shakes head* Oh the shame
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 4:18 PM EST
Muggle
Points: 84
MexicanWizard says:
that is so cool. I wonder what he'll do if you bid on something and don't pay. Maybe take it out on Dobby? Oh wait, Dobby is FREEEEEE!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 4:21 PM EST
Witch
Points: 929
*autumn_leaves* says:
Now, that is funny! He's on Ebay? I should recommend him to the music section, it's absolutely fantastic. Tall, thin, and greasy haired professor...now who could that be???
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 4:53 PM EST
Head Boy
Points: 470
eater says:
Him that scum malfoy he should of had all his money taken away from him and also it never says his job just that he works at the ministry.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 5:14 PM EST
Wind Made Solid
Points: 2579
GryffindorGrad99 says:
That article is really funny! I wouldn't have expected to see it in Forbes magazine, but I'm glad it's there. I really don't think Lucius would invest in Muggle things though, haha.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 5:43 PM EST
Prefect
Points: 353
Eleazar Expedicto says:
Thats its too funny haha, .... its rich in forbes... hahahahaha to funny i like this news good job people goddd job!!!!!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 6:04 PM EST
Epitome of Evil
Points: 2752
Tom Marvolo Riddle says:
This article is...strange.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 6:11 PM EST
Muggle
Points: 0
pottysahottie says:
That is really funny!!! I love the Ebay and Walmart stock thing.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 7:02 PM EST
Order of Merlin, 4th Class
Points: 1375
'Arry + Hermy says:
That was an hilarious article! It loved it and I love how they said "Narcissa, has reportedly begun making midnight visits to a "family friend," a tall, thin and greasy-haired professor at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Now that was priceless information! Thank HPANA... never would've found that without you! I cannot wait until Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire comes out on DVD! It will make my life when it does come out! Until then, I will be watching the others over and over and over again! I heart Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling is the coolest person ever!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 7:02 PM EST
Squib
Points: 109
Harry Potter's Lady says:
That's so funny but true in a way. I wonder who came up with this!! I feel sorry for Draco and i wonder where he is!!!! :P
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 8:28 PM EST
Mistress of Weather
Points: 12186
Miss_Autumn says:
Ha ha I would *love* to see what he would do to those who don't pay for their auctions. Or what about those that outbid when theres 1 minute left in the auction? He'd probably avada kedrava their arse, or at least crucio them around the block and back.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 9:13 PM EST
Order of Merlin, 3rd Class
Points: 1465
Moon Dragon says:
Thats heaps funny!!! I really like how they come up with this sort of thing!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 9:48 PM EST
Singularly Gifted Witch
Points: 5157
Medea says:
Oh my, haha! I love Forbes. Well done.
His wife, Narcissa, has reportedly begun making midnight visits to a "family friend," a tall, thin and greasy-haired professor at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
it's what I've been saying all along!
I love Lucius.
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 10:04 PM EST
Witch
Points: 982
~Kathy~Evans~ says:
That is extremely cool! It is so unfair that he keeps making money when he can't use it anyway...very smart to be in the stock business though... There are people with limitless imaginations out there! I loved the part about Narcissa and the obvious Snape...funny! Anyway I love reading these types of this so keep them coming!
Posted Dec 3, 2005 at 11:10 PM EST
Head Girl
Points: 450
natural-born-weasley says:
I loooked at the whole list it is so funny. SAnta Klaus is # 1.
Posted Dec 4, 2005 at 12:15 AM EST
Prefect
Points: 331
xParselmouthx says:
Out of this list...I'd chose C. Montgomery Burns.
Arthur Bach
C. Montgomery Burns
Jed Clampett
Santa Claus
Lara Croft
Thurston Howell III
Lex Luthor
Lucius Malfoy
Scrooge McDuck
Richie Rich
Ebenezer Scrooge
Bruce Wayne
Willie Wonka
Cruella de Vil
Posted Dec 4, 2005 at 12:25 AM EST
Wizard
Points: 539
Emma's true fan and lover says:
Haha,good one. Wow, I'm kinda amazed by the ingenious way the people over at Forbes manipulated the happenings in the stock market today and mixed it up with the happenings in the 6th book. The best part is where it says that Lucius has stockholdings of Dark Arts artifacts in Wal-Mart. Imagine that, buying a pair of underwear and along with that, a shiny silver ball that alerts you if you are in the danger of being detected ( I just made that up). Anyway, it's pretty cool to see how Harry Potter has a grip on the business world and that no matter how realistic one might want to be, HP can never be ignored.
Way to go HP and yes, I love Emma. ( Heehee)
Posted Dec 4, 2005 at 12:57 AM EST
Sirius's Veil Thrower
Points: 4651
SiriusBlacksGodDaughter says:
That is so funny! WOOT WOOT! Came in #15 place! YEAH!
Posted Dec 4, 2005 at 1:44 AM EST
Witch
Points: 978
Jaclyn Potter says:
That is really funny! Thanks for that post! I love how Harry Potter is all over the world and appears in everything!
Posted Dec 4, 2005 at 1:45 AM EST
Head Boy
Points: 427
photogenic peeves says:
Its funny that someone actually thought of the malfoys, but the uncle of the tree ducks in Ducktales(majot fan back in the day) I seem to remember him haveing an entire building full of gold. I wonder if he was on that fictional character list.
Posted Dec 4, 2005 at 3:03 AM EST
Magical Sanitary Supplier
Points: 2518
5225 says:
I thought this article to be very funny. Inspiring indeed. To have a site such as Forbes.com to have such interesting story as this.
Posted Dec 4, 2005 at 4:23 AM EST
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