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DECEMBER 2, 2005 at 2:22 PM
Posted by CHEESER
Source: Forbes via The Leaky Cauldron
Forbes has published a hilarious article
detailing the wealth of various fictional characters and Lucius Malfoy came in at #15.
Through brisk trading of Dark Arts artifacts on eBay to his stock holdings in Wal-Mart and Halliburton, Malfoy saw his fortune increase 30%, even while behind bars at Azkaban:
Much of Malfoy's gain can be attributed to surging commodities markets. The price of gold is at its highest level since 1987, up 16% since January alone. Malfoy's stores of gold galleons and silver sickles--among the purest mintings of those metals known--have appreciated significantly.
Despite these material gains, it’s clear Lucius' imprisonment has been personally painful. His wife, Narcissa, has reportedly begun making midnight visits to a "family friend," a tall, thin and greasy-haired professor at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And Draco, Lucius' only son, disappeared this year following the murder of Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore.
Thanks to TLC and those who sent this in.
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Witch
Points: 562
accio_rupert says:
Woooo first post...i think :S
the article is quite cool!! made me laugh anyway but im sad!!
koolage
xx
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:28 PM EST
Twilight Princess
Points: 2567
xXHpFreak4lifeXx says:
Thats so funny. Thanks for posting.
~Lauren~
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:28 PM EST
Headmaster
(Moderator)
Cheeser says:
Guys... we haven't been aggressive enough about this, but I'm getting a bit fed up! PLEASE, only post comments if you have a COMMENT about the post. The HPANA rules explicitly say you can NOT post simply to say "that's cool" (so "that's funny" would also fall under the rule, I'd say).
Saying "first to post" is not allowed either.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:32 PM EST
Prefect
Points: 389
Lumos Solem says:
That's funny but so true. Celebrities still make money even when in jail. I mean look at martha sewart.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:34 PM EST
Ron's Love Advisor
Points: 5928
~Sarah~ says:
Hahah his wal-mart stock. Interesting article, I wnder what made some one think of writing this. Well said Chee*ser, well said
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:39 PM EST
Witch
Points: 769
go-go-Gryffindor says:
I'm surprised he isn't hight than fifteen! I read the article about him, but it makes me curious to see who else is on the list.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:41 PM EST
Order of Merlin, 1st Class
Points: 1841
Remmy4193 says:
Really funny! The so called, "family friend" is no doubt Snape. Nice description of him, but they left out sly traitoring piece of work.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:44 PM EST
Order of Merlin, 4th Class
Points: 1380
Chadick says:
That article is indeed hilarious, even including Walmart and Ebay as some of Lucius Malfoy's properties or something. Are they implying that Narcissa has an affair with Snape, or is it just a freindly matter? Heheh...Poor Draco :(... The Forbes website also made a poll as to the people are most envious of among the 15 characters, and Lucius is in the 2nd place. Really fun to read.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:47 PM EST
Student
Points: 286
Prue Witch says:
The main point is that he is still making a lot of money!
P.S That is cool!:D.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:48 PM EST
Every Flavored Bean
Points: 2888
the bean says:
Niffler Futures and Goblin Mutual funds?? haha
That article is very creative. Especially his quotes that he has been looking for a way to exploit us filthy muggles. I loved it.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:51 PM EST
Fan Fun Fanatic
Points: 2549
lilmzhLn18 says:
I find that quite funny. When you're in Jail... you ARE suppose to go poor..but he isn't.. I love how the way he made the article. They connected the fans.. otherwise known as "muggles" with the wizarding world.. They are connecting how he's getting "rich"..haha....
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:57 PM EST
Order of Merlin, 1st Class
Points: 1937
rocker_336 says:
Bahahaha! This is hilarious. It's cool that they did this list of fictional characters. It's great that Malfoy made it!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:58 PM EST
Witch
Points: 741
Emily Radcliffe says:
Hehe thats funny! I wonder who thinks of these things?
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 2:59 PM EST
Witch
Points: 862
Lilison says:
I think this was a brilliant idea! Got to love Forbes.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:03 PM EST
Muggle
Points: 85
felix felicis says:
Hilarious article! ... do the Malfoys really live in Wiltshire?
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:15 PM EST
Witch
Points: 842
Books and Cleverness says:
That is so funny! Adding Walmart and eBay now that's classic! I tell it'd be better for the rest of us if they were all ferrets. Maybe he's on to something there!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:17 PM EST
Witch
Points: 809
NymphadoraBlack says:
Wow, that was really funny. I loved the quotes by Moody and Tonks. Very interesting. Though I thought Forbes was... like... a magazine for older, wealthy, business like people. And I know that Harry Potter fans come in all shapes and sizes and ages and economic backgroungs... but my point is I wouldn't have thought a magazine as illustrious as Forbes would print something like that. Totally cool, nonetheless!!!!!! :D
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:20 PM EST
Magical Owl Rising
Points: 4655
Hoots says:
This couldn't be funnier! Thanks Forbes for some humor to lighten things up.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:20 PM EST
Auror
Points: 2161
Sublime Villainy says:
I love this its so cute. I wonder if he had help from Rowling? Where can we see the rest of the list that would be cute too.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:20 PM EST
Order of Merlin, 4th Class
Points: 1345
Dracos_Gurl13 says:
That was hilarious! What is with people thinking that these characters are real! I love them as well but I'm not insane enough to try and make a real article about them. It's ludacris!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:26 PM EST
Slytherin's Golden Locket
Points: 7863
Lady oF Shadows says:
Heeey I love the article ! really hilarious ! haha! made me laugh, hehehe I love the malfoy family !
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:29 PM EST
Dumbledore's Protégé
Points: 3558
Harree Potter says:
That WAS hilarious. So Forbes magazine thinks Narcissa and Snapey-wapey may be having a relationship eh? It sure would be funny (and creepy) if that came true.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:29 PM EST
Hermione's Twin
Points: 5063
*Miss Hermione Granger* says:
Thats really funny!! I needed something like that around now.Amazing how they come up with this stuff.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:32 PM EST
Auror
Points: 2223
Pheonixflames says:
Ha! Classic! Wow some people have a broad imagination he he...its funny though how they even put it as in the North Sea...and quote: "I am constantly on the alert for opportunities to exploit you filthy Muggles," he told us nearly seven years ago"...that just cracked me up - typical Malfoy. I agree with Mad-eye - they should all be turned in to ferrets.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:34 PM EST
Auror
Points: 2563
School Governor says:
A funny article, although I would have thought the Malfoys would have been sued & fined for their Dark activities.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:36 PM EST
Prefect
Points: 341
i_am_hermione says:
I thought that this was hilarious!! I like that Santa was at the top of the list.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 3:38 PM EST
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