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DECEMBER 2, 2005 at 2:22 PM
Posted by CHEESER
Source: Forbes via The Leaky Cauldron
Forbes has published a hilarious article
detailing the wealth of various fictional characters and Lucius Malfoy came in at #15.
Through brisk trading of Dark Arts artifacts on eBay to his stock holdings in Wal-Mart and Halliburton, Malfoy saw his fortune increase 30%, even while behind bars at Azkaban:
Much of Malfoy's gain can be attributed to surging commodities markets. The price of gold is at its highest level since 1987, up 16% since January alone. Malfoy's stores of gold galleons and silver sickles--among the purest mintings of those metals known--have appreciated significantly.
Despite these material gains, it’s clear Lucius' imprisonment has been personally painful. His wife, Narcissa, has reportedly begun making midnight visits to a "family friend," a tall, thin and greasy-haired professor at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And Draco, Lucius' only son, disappeared this year following the murder of Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore.
Thanks to TLC and those who sent this in.
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Order of Merlin, 4th Class
Points: 1237
HeadmistressMcGonagall says:
Thats actually really funny! I'm thrilled Lucius Malfoy made the list, and even more thrilled that Santa Clause made the list as Number 1!!!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 7:05 PM EST
Student
Points: 229
Wuteva_Chica says:
This guy really did his homework, it was hilarious i loved it!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 7:05 PM EST
Squib
Points: 165
kella says:
Oh man, that's really funny. I love how clever some peoplecan be!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 7:06 PM EST
Auror
Points: 2682
hplovergurl says:
Haha, that is pretty funny! He really did a good job with telling about Malfoy. I love it how he explained everything about him and how he uses Wal-mart and E-bay.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 7:15 PM EST
Order of Merlin, 1st Class
Points: 1918
not*so*sweet*strawberry says:
Oh My Gosh!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
that is so fantastic!!! HAHAHA... I LOVE IT!!!!!!!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 7:20 PM EST
Chief Auror
Points: 15502
auror_potter says:
hahaha that is so funny! I can't believe that they did that!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 7:25 PM EST
The Dark Knight
Points: 5789
minister for magic says:
The whole article was great.
The end of it was really funny.
That was definetly worth reading!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 8:03 PM EST
Professor
Points: 1111
Phoenix_Patronus says:
Great article. It's really humorous. Some people have really vivid imaginations.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 8:15 PM EST
Order of Merlin, 1st Class
Points: 1970
Jekca says:
ok now that is utterly hilarious. I am headed over there right now to read it. It should prove pretty darn funny! At least I think so, cool!
Hehehe
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 8:25 PM EST
Harry's Soul-Mate
Points: 3337
Lea says:
Tee-hee-hee, that's SO COOL!!!!! :D :D :D
Very clever and hilarious!!! I bet even Jo will like it when she'll read it!! ;D
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 8:29 PM EST
Witch
Points: 508
Trianna says:
I KNEW there was a reason Wal-Mart has become so evil!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 8:32 PM EST
Witch
Points: 603
*Rabia* says:
I always knew that Wal-Mart was evil. Now I have even more proof. Both Wal-Mart and Lucius Malfoy are evil.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 8:33 PM EST
Master of Mystery
Points: 3873
Major Threat says:
Really funny! Haha didn't know those people had a sense of humor. Joke.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 8:35 PM EST
Seer
Points: 15207
Brittany Radcliffe says:
HAHA thats great that even if you're a killer you get more $$$$.
GO LUCIUS! now why cant i have a life like that...uhhh just kidding.
he can send of those galleons and sickles over this way!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 8:41 PM EST
Crookshanks Caretaker
Points: 3836
hermionefan1 says:
Thats so funny, i love it!!!! Some people have great imaginations and can do some awesome things.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 8:44 PM EST
The Faerie Queene
Points: 3277
merri maven says:
I read that and it was pretty hilarious. Kudos to the author for thinking the the entire article up!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 9:01 PM EST
Order of Merlin, 2nd Class
Points: 1664
Looooney says:
Oh that's tremendous! I HAVE to get a printed copy of that and give it to my friends that work on Wall Street. HAHA I work at Starbucks so I'll just up and ask them, "So what do you think about that Lucius, huh? In prison and he's still making loads?! How does he do it?!"
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 9:12 PM EST
Auror
Points: 2852
H/HrShipper4Ever says:
Haha ... That's Heliorous!!! I just loved the article... It's soooo funny...
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 9:44 PM EST
Dumbledore's Muse
Points: 2959
Alchemical Auror says:
Absolutely fantastic. It is great to see that even those serious minded folk at Forbes don't take themselves so seriously as to snub popular culture.
Thanks for the article!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 9:47 PM EST
Witch
Points: 725
Dobby Is My Master says:
Okay, that article was hilarious. One of the funnier Harry Potter things I've read in a while. I love how a prominent magazine like Forbes, can get into pop culture and just let loose for a while.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 10:06 PM EST
Mage of Celestial Melody
Points: 3324
Telos says:
THat is actually really funny! Cool idea!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 10:08 PM EST
Harry's Mental Advisor
Points: 19432
Smileyradcliffe says:
That was hilarious! What is with people thinking that these characters are real! I love them as well but I'm not insane enough to try and make a real article about them. It's ludacris!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 10:29 PM EST
Prefect
Points: 376
FanaticalGrim1 says:
That was very origional. It's neat that someone would take the time to write something random like that for a magazine. It's astounding that Malfoy would invest in muggle stock! How amazing!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 10:47 PM EST
Long Way from Happy
Points: 2952
OEHFICE says:
That is hilarious! ha ha, I laughed just hearing about that, GO Lucius! ha ha...seriously funniest thing I've ever heard in a while.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 10:56 PM EST
Magical Me
Points: 8420
Nutty4Harry says:
Very very funny! I'm impressed at the knowledge that the author would have to have about Harry Potter and the Malfoy family to do this article. Very good job!
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 11:04 PM EST
Auror
Points: 2353
Loretta says:
This is the best article ever. I don't know when I have laughted this hard. This is so Lucious.
Posted Dec 2, 2005 at 11:24 PM EST
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